Life is full of disappointments.
There is no way to control that aspect of life. Plans don’t always work out and people don’t always show up the way you need them to. It’s apart of being human.
Just because disappointment is a fact of life, it doesn’t make it any less painful. Disappointment is an emotion. It’s a feeling of sadness or a feeling of loss at experiencing the gap between reality and our expectations.
I see people trying to rush others through their feelings of disappointment. They will try to tell you all the reasons why you should just get over it or see the positive side of it. The intention is an attempt to make you feel better, but it can push someone into suppressing their emotion rather than feeling the depth of their sadness.
Sometimes, even ideas require a grieving process.
We do ourselves a disservice when we bury our dreams, ideas or plans without properly feeling their loss. We just create an emotional burden that lives beneath the surface. Instead, we should feel the hole created by their absence or kiss them goodbye.
Here is the great thing: It only take 90 seconds.
According to Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor, there is a chemical process that happens in the body that takes 90 seconds. If you continue to experience the emotion beyond 90 seconds, it is because you are choosing to remain in an emotional loop.
When you repress the feeling, you keep yourself stuck in a loop of experiencing that same disappointment over and over again. Or, you can feel it for 90 seconds and release it.
“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.”
― Henry David Thoreau
Then, this creates mental space and clarity that you can use to PIVOT.
Pivoting is when you see that something isn’t working or going to work and you create a new strategy. There are some people who get stuck trying the same thing again and again or give into apathy and just decide never to try again because things didn’t work out the way they expected.
Then, there are some who experience the disappointment and then try to figure out the next step or a new way to get where they want to be. In order to be someone who pivots when they face a challenge, you have to be someone who believes there is more than one way to accomplish something. You have to be optimistic and you have to trust yourself.
“Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.”― William Throsby Bridges
Disappointment is a fact of life. But, staying dissatisfied is a choice. What didn’t work out could be the setup for something better. PIVOT!